My Little Poppy Seed Muffin
by Almost an Actress
Summary: Derpy is on her way to pick up Dinky from school, when she sees her daughter being beaten up by two snotty fillies. Will Derpy be able to save her Little Poppy Seed Mufin? Rated K-Plus for very mild violence and use of the word "retard."


Derpy Hooves trotted down the dirt path. She attempted to whistle, but it came out more of a blustering breath. She shrugged and kept trotting. Derpy Hooves was on the way to pick up her daughter, Dinky Hooves, from school. "My little Dinky," Derpy sighed. She was worried about her little poppy seed muffin, to tell the truth. Dinky had been coming home with bruises and cuts lately. Some of them looked rather serious.

"Mama, I'm just clumsy!" Dinky had insisted with a smile. "No harm done. I'm not too scratched up! My friends and I were just horsin' around at recess, you know?"

"Okay," Derpy had said warily. "Just be careful my little poppy seed muffin."

"I love you, Mama," Dinky had said, burying her face in her mom's leg. After Dinky had pulled away and ran up to her room to do homework, Derpy noticed that her leg was wet with tears. Dinky had been crying.

Derpy saw all of the fillies and colts running outside. That sweet little nerdy one, Twist, was walking home with her parents, animatedly telling her them, "Today wath the bethst! We made candy! I acthally got notithed! Mith Cheerilee gave ribbonth to the bethst candy makerth, and I won!"

"Oh, good job!" her dad said. "Great job!"

Pipsqueak was smiling and blushing at that orange tomcolt pony… Scootaloo, yeah, that was her name.

Since Dinky always asked for a few moments extra to play, Derpy used her wing to get her I-Hoof out of her saddlebags. She plugged into a song by her favorite DJ, Vinyl Scratch.

"Drop that bass!" the song screamed. A series of ripped up Dubstep noises came though the speakers. Derpy closed her eyes and shook to the beats.

"Ow!" came a familiar cry. It was Dinky! "Please stop, Diamond Tiara."

"That's _Miss_ Diamond Tiara," came a snarky reply.

Derpy's eyes shot open. She ripped the I-Hoof out of her ears. There was a pink filly, smirking snottily down at Derpy's daughter. Dinky's eyes were big and scared. She had a large bleeding laceration coming down from her forehead to her muzzle.

"Please don't hurt me anymore," Dinky begged. "What did I ever do to you?"

"Silver Spoon," Diamond Tiara commanded, "bring it."

Silver Spoon jumped up in the air and landed hard on Dinky's chest. The wind was knocked out of the filly. Silver Spoon laughed. "Wimpy filly! Are you a filly or a baby?"

Derpy had had enough. She galloped out from where she had been watching. Without a word, she flew into the air, grabbing both Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara by their manes.

"Ow!" shrieked Diamond Tiara. "Let go of me, you screwy-eyed mare! You retard! You-"

"That's _Miss_ Hooves to you," Derpy snarled. "Sound familiar? Your behavior is shocking and disgusting. I can't belive your parents don't whip you!" She wasn't used to being so authoritative and using so many big (ish) words, but it felt good not to be "Stupid Derpy Hooves" for once. She was "Hero Derpy Hooves!"

"That's-" Silver Spoon winced in pain as her braid, which was supporting her entire body weight, tore at her skull. "That's illegal."

"Come with me," Derpy growled. She flew into the classroom, which had long since emptied out. Miss Cheerilee was grading papers. Just as she was circling a "B+" on somepony's paper, she noticed Derpy.

"Oh my Celestia!" she gasped. "Miss Hooves?"

Derpy dropped the two troublemakers on the ground. "These two were beating up my daughter," she stated coldly.

"Is this true?" Miss Cheerilee asked the fillies.

"No!" Diamond Tiara cried.

"Yes!" Silver Spoon cried at the same time that her crony denied it. "Yes! We beat her up every day after school." She was looking frantically from side to side.

"Is Dinky okay?" Cheerilee asked, concerned.

"My little poppy seed muffin!" Derpy cried, forgetting to be angry. She ran outside, leaving the little jerks in their teacher's custody.  
Dinky was lying on the ground, her eyes wide. "Mama?" she asked hazily.

"Oh, poppy seed muffin," Derpy sighed. "I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid…" Dinky murmured. "They said that if I told, I would be a lame mare when I grew up. They also said that they would dip me in acid." She began to sob.

"Oh, darling," Derpy sighed. She lifted up her crying filly in her lap. "Let's go home. I reckon that those little jerks will get expelled. Their parents will ground them forever!"

Dinky's eyes lit up. "You think?"

"I know," Derpy assured. She held Dinky in her arms and flew home slowly. "How about we clean up your cuts and then watch a movie and eat some muffins?" Derpy asked.

"Oh, Mom," Dinky laughed weakly. "Muffins are the cure to everything to you."

"Yeah," Derpy said, cleaning and bandaging the laceration. "But it's a movie too."

Dinky laughed. "Can we watch My Little Humans? I love that show!"

"Me too," Derpy smiled. She put some muffins in the oven and flipped on the TV. "Me too."

The End


End file.
